"God does not 'love' us without liking us..."

From Dallas Willard:

“We must understand that God does not 'love' us without liking us - through gritted teeth - as 'Christian' love is sometimes thought to do. Rather, out of the eternal freshness of his perpetually self-renewed being, the heavenly Father cherishes the earth and each human being upon it. The fondness, the endearment, the unstintingly affectionate regard of God toward all his creatures is the natural outflow of what he is to the core - which we vainly try to capture with our tired but indispensable old word 'love'.” 

The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life In God

Willard died today after losing a battle with cancer. He will be profoundly missed. 

Do you have any favorite books, quotes, or memories from Willard you wish to share?

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Seasons

'Don't Steal Magnolias' photo (c) 2010, Vincent_AF - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

When I first started asking questions about my faith, I was terrified. In my loneliness and fear, I tried desperately to drag the people I loved most along with me on my journey through doubt. I was in a season of deconstruction, of uprooting, of tearing down. And like a spoiled child, I ran about the Church, knocking down every theological block tower I could find, delighting in the destruction. 

I was asking good questions, worthy questions—about creation, science, biblical interpretation, gender, religious pluralism, heaven and hell— but I was angry with those not asking these questions along with me; I wanted to force them into my season. 

But there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. 

A time to plant and a time to uproot, 

A time to kill and a time to heal, 

A time to tear down and a time to build. 

Since then, I have come to see that the attentive soul cycles through these seasons. Wintery seasons of deconstruction, uprooting, questioning, and tearing down are often followed by exciting, spring-like seasons of reconstruction, creativity, healing, and building. 

A time to mourn and a time to dance,

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, 

A time to search and a time to give up.

And it’s easy, when I’m in a season of building, to look down my nose at my brothers and sisters who are in a season of tearing down. 

And it’s easy, when I’m in a season of throwing away, to look down my nose at my brothers and sisters who are in a season of keeping. 

A time to keep and a time to throw away,

A time to tear and a time to mend,

A time to be silent and a time to speak. 

Some of us are in seasons of speaking, and some of us are in seasons of silence. Some of us are in seasons of mending, and some of us are in seasons of ripping apart. Some of us are in seasons of mourning, and some of us are in seasons of dancing. Some of us are in seasons of searching, and some of us are in seasons of giving up. 

Let’s not forget that we need one another. 

We need wildfires for new life to grow. We need scraps for our quilts and jackhammers for our remodels. 

We need the sounds of laughter and the sounds of crying. We need baptisms and funerals, confirmations and AA meetings. 

We need both the systems and the reforms. We need the theses, the hammer, the nail. And we need the door. 

Let’s not forget that we need one another, if only to acknowledge that within every season a new season awaits, swelling and splitting like a seed in the soil, about to break through. 

***

So, what kind of season are you living through these days? Do you find yourself struggling to love those in a different season? 

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Elizabeth Smart, Human Trafficking, and Purity Culture

We’ve spoken in the past about the harmful effects of a shame-based purity culture that treats women (and men) who have had sex before marriage as “damaged goods.”  

Many of us who grew up in the Church sat through at least one or two horrific object lessons reinforcing the idea that premarital sex ruins a person for good. Perhaps everyone in the youth group spat into a cup, or perhaps a rose was trampled and torn to pieces, or perhaps a construction-paper heart was ripped to shreds.  

Kidnapping survivor Elizabeth Smart recently spoke at a Johns Hopkins University human trafficking forum about her own experience, and said she understood why some victims of trafficking stay with their abusers. 

From the Christian Science Monitor: 

Smart said she “felt so dirty and so filthy” after she was raped by her captor, and she understands why someone wouldn't run “because of that alone.”
Smart spoke at a Johns Hopkins human trafficking forum, saying she was raised in a religious household and recalled a school teacher who spoke once about abstinence and compared sex to chewing gum.
“I thought, ‘Oh, my gosh, I'm that chewed up piece of gum, nobody re-chews a piece of gum, you throw it away.' And that's how easy it is to feel like you no longer have worth, you no longer have value," Smart said. "Why would it even be worth screaming out? Why would it even make a difference if you are rescued? Your life still has no value."

Obviously, there are many other reasons a victim might stay with his or her abuser, and Elizabeth was certainly not placing the blame for her abduction on the purity culture, but before we dismiss those speaking out against these sort of shaming tactics that have become so prevalent in the Church, we must consider the effects the “damaged goods” narrative can have on young hearts and minds. 

I am so grateful to Elizabeth, who has dedicated much of her time to protecting and educating children about violent and sexual crimes through the Elizabeth Smart Foundation and spreading the good word that “ you will always have value and nothing can change that.” 

Talk about a woman of valor! 

So what’s the alternative? How can we teach young people to value the sacredness of sex and the importance of responsibility without resorting to shame-based, fear-based tactics? 

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