A (Blogging) Year in Review

From the beginning, blogging has surprised me. I never dreamed it would lead to so many career opportunities, never dreamed it would connect me to such wonderful people, never dreamed it would start so many interesting conversations, never dreamed I would love it as much as I do. 

This year brought a string of new surprises. I could never have predicted this time last year that in 2012 folks would find this blog by searching for “vaginagate,” or “woman of valor,” or “feminist Chick-fil-A,” or “Whoopi womanhood,” or  “egalitarian pleasuring party.”  But that’s what a year of blogging brings—weird, dirty-sounding keyword searches.  

Our very first post of 2012 was about loving the Bible for what it is, not what we want it to be. This post set the tone for the year and launched a series on the Bible that started some fantastic conversations in the comment section. We discussed several books related to the Bible, including The Bible Made Impossible by Christian Smith, Scripture and the Authority of God by N.T. Wright, and Inspiration and Incarnation by Peter Enns. 

I started speaking more regularly this year, which meant I got to meet more of you in person—at churches, conferences, and colleges from Waco, to Portland, to Minneapolis, to Lynchburg. Some highlights included hanging out with the ladies of Truett Seminary, dancing to “Call Me Maybe” with the youth of the United Methodist Virginia Conference, getting the chance be Nadia Bolz-Weber’s roommate at Wild Goose West, and getting the grand tour of Chicago, complete with pizza, during STORY 2012.  

In March, what has affectionately become known as “Vaginagate” happened. So did Kony 2012. Then Anne Rice shared my post on “Rush Limbaugh and Thee Evangelical Blindspots.” It was a good month for blog stats. 

Our “Ask a…” series continued, with some amazing contributions from Jonathan Martin (“Ask a Pentecostal”), Helena Burns (“Ask a Nun”), Dianna Anderson (“Ask a Feminist”), Sonny Lemmons (“Ask a Stay-At-Home Dad”), and many more. 

In April, I totally pulled your leg with a special edition of Sunday Superlatives. 

In May, we spent a week discussing gender, the Bible, and the Church in a weeklong series called “Mutuality 2012.” This turned out to be one of the most rewarding experiences of my blogging career, as I heard from so many readers who were challenged and changed by God’s good news for men and women. Your contributions to the synchroblog started conversations around the blogosphere that I know changed lives. 

We talked a lot about church this year. I shared 15 reasons I left church and 15 reasons I’ve returned. Kim VanBrunt shared what it’s like to leave church with a family in tow. I wrote about why I don’t always fit in with mainline churches, and Aric Clark wrote a fantastic response about “the passionate mainline.” We talked about nurturing better conversations between the churched and the un-churched, and then we listened to one another’s church stories—from a young woman with Asperger’s, to an African American calling for reconciliation, to an Episcopal’s love for, and struggle with, the creeds.  Look for more of these stories in 2013 as we spend more time exploring denominationalism and church trends and as we “visit” various faith communities around the country. 

In June, I explained how to watch an entire season of The Bachelorette and still be too good for it.  I also learned that sometimes the shortest posts say the most.  

In July, I pissed off some guys at the Gospel Coalition by suggesting that not every woman thinks getting “conquered and colonized” sounds like a good time. 

We launched our Women of Valor series in August with an essay contest that brought in some of our finest guest posts ever. Your contributions to this series have been such a joy to read and to share. They truly make the Internet better. 

Then, in September, we switched to a new blogging platform (Square Space) and celebrated our 1,000th post. (A big shout-out to Dan for all his work on that.) I started a series on Esther that I never finished (but hope to in the New Year). 

In October I explained why I love the Bible and why I don’t think ambition is a sin. Dan hijacked the blog one day. 

Things get a little blurry after that. At some point Dan and I flew into New York City during a hurricane, got interviewed on The Today Show and The View, and celebrated the release of A Year of Biblical Womanhood, which you helped catapult to the New York Times Bestseller list for ebooks. 

We managed to mostly steer clear of politics this election year, with a few exceptions. On Election Day, we participated in a virtual Election Day Communion. 

December was pretty quiet on the blog, with the exception of our most-read post of all time, “God can’t be kept out.” 

Another year full of blogging surprises! And I am so, so grateful for each one. Thank you for being a part of my life in this small way. I have learned so much from you, been so profoundly challenged and encouraged by you, and found myself so richly blessed by you, it’s hard to find the right words with which to express my gratitude. 

I plan to spend next week plotting for 2013, so if you have any suggestions, please feel free to leave them in the comment section below. 

And now, for the obligatory “most popular” list: 

Most Popular Posts

1. God Can’t Be Kept Out

2. Some Words for Christians on Both Sides of the Chick-fil-A War

3. How to Win a Culture War and Lose a Generation

4. 15 Reasons I Left Church & 15 Reasons I Returned to Church 

5. Enough: Or Why We Should All Be Laughing Hysterically in the Magazine Aisle 

6. They Were Right (And Wrong) About the Slippery Slope 

7. The Gospel Coalition, Sex, and Subordination 

8. 40 Ideas for Lent (2012) 

9. Christian Bookstores and Their Chokehold on the Industry 

10. “All Right Then, I’ll Go to Hell”

Best Comment Sections 

1. Barbara Kingsolver and Church Misfits

2. 90s Christian Music Night at the Roller Rink 

3. From Waging War to Washing Feet: How Do We Move Forward?

4. Scattered Thoughts on My Life in the Christian “industry”

5. Bible series posts 

Popular Guest Posts (in no particular order) 

1. “Will you always believe in Jesus, Mama?” (Anonymous)

2. Ask. Seek. Knock. Breath by Beth Woolsey

3. Church Stories: Embracing Faith as an Aspie by Erin Thomas 

4. Church Stories: A Plea to Engage in Racial Reconciliation by Grace Biskie 

5. Women of the Gospels: The Fab Four by Carolyn Custis James 

6. When Men and Women Ministered Together as Equals…In the Early Church by Ed Cyzewski

7. Dear Mother by Sarah Bessey 

8. Is God Really Omnipotent? By Tripp Fulller and Bo Sanders

9. Taking My Thumb Off the Scale by Lois Tverberg  

10. Just a Mediocre Miracle by Neely Stansell Simpson 

So, what were the most popular posts on YOUR blog this year? And what would you like to see more of/less of here in 2013? 

10 Cool Things We’ve Done in 1,000 Posts

Well, today marks our 1,000th post!  If we were all gathered together in a room, I’d be pouring each of you a glass of champagne to celebrate. 

...Actually I wouldn’t. That would be super-expensive. This is better. 

When I look back on nearly four years of blogging, the posts that mattered the most to me are the ones that were collaborative, the ones we created together. And so in that spirit, here are ten cool things we’ve done together in 1,000 posts: 

10. We rallied to restore unity. 

Last year, around the time Jon Stewart held his Rally to Restore Sanity, John Piper “farwelled” Rob Bell, and Stephen Colbert hosted his Rally to Keep Fear Alive, we hosted our own response to the increasing theological and political polarization online: The Rally to Restore Unity. You guys made hundreds of signs for our photo collages and wrote hundreds of blog posts for our synchroblog. The results were laugh-out-loud funny, touching, challenging, and bizarre...just what the internet needed at the time.  See the Rally Round-Up here. 

9. We raised over $5,000 for Charity:Water. 

As a result of the Rally to Restore Unity and a fundraiser for my 30th birthday, together we raised more than $5,000 to benefit Charity:Water. This was enough to fund two major water projects in Ethiopia and Sierra Leone. According to the latest update from Charity:Water, our contributions have been invested with Relief Society of Tigray (REST) and International Rescue Committee (IRC) in Ethiopia and Concern Worldwide in Sierra Leone. The funds will be used to build and rehabilitate freshwater wells and spring protections for people in need and will help provide information about safe hygiene practices and forming local Water Committees to look after the projects when they're finished. According to Charity:Water, we will receive a complete report - including GPS coordinates, photos, and stories  - of the finished water projects before the end of the year! I can’t wait to share that with you. 

8. We honored women of valor. 

A single mom. A feisty professor. A midwife. A foster parent. An abuse survivor. A brave grandmother. A master seamstress.  A young Ugandan woman who reached out to a sister in need.  

We have honored these women of valor and will continue to honor them in what has become one of my favorite series on the blog.  Eshet chayil—woman of valor— has long been a blessing of praise in the Jewish community. Husbands often sing the line from Proverbs 31 to their wives at Sabbath meals. Women cheer one another on through accomplishments in homemaking, career, education, parenting, and justice by shouting a hearty “eshet chayil!” after each milestone.  Great women of the faith, like Sarah and Ruth and Deborah, are identified as women of valor.  One of my goals after completing my year of biblical womanhood was to “take back” Proverbs 31 as a blessing, not a to-do list, by identifying and celebrating women of valor. To help me in this, you submitted nearly 100 essays to our Women of Valor essay contest. There were so many essays that made me laugh, cry, and think I decided that, in addition to the eight winners of the contest, we would feature more of your essays in a Women of Valor series on Saturdays that will carry us through the end of the year.  

Best of all, the original series helped promote the great work of  Hill Country Hill Tribers, a non-profit helping Burmese refugee women in Austin earn supplemental income and learn marketable skills. 

Check out the entire Women of Valor series so far.  

7. We made a few posts go “viral.” 

Most notably: 

• “Blessed are the uncool” 

• “15 Reasons I Left Church” 

• “How To Win a Culture War and Lose a Generation” 

• “Some words for Christians on both sides of the Chick-fil-A war” 

(See other popular posts.)

6. We shared the platform with other voices. 

I believe that once you build a platform, you have a responsibility to share it, and we’ve been blessed with some of the most amazing guest posts over the years. I especially appreciate those posts that challenge me to see the world, and the Church, from a new perspective. Some recent contributions to this conversation include Grace Biskie’s plea to engage in racial reconciliation, Erin Thomas’ story of what it’s like to be a person of faith with Asperger's Syndrome, Aric Clark’s defense of the passionate Mainline,  Dianna Anderson’s explanation of what feminism is not, and Registered Runaway’s heartbreaking post about what happened when his father learned he was gay.  I have learned so much from our guest posters through the years and am grateful for their contributions. 

5. We interviewed a whole bunch of interesting people.

Perhaps the most popular recurring series on the blog has been our “Ask a...” series. Again, this represents a collaborative effort, as the interview questions are always yours! We’ve interviewed an atheist, a nun, a gay Christian,  a funeral director, a pacifist, an indigenous theologian,  a Pentecostal, a Mennonite, an evolutionary creationist, an Orthodox Jew, a Mormon, and more. The resulting dialogs represent some of the most productive and civil conversations on the blogosphere. 

Check out the entire series. 

4. We sponsored more than 20 Bolivian children through World Vision 

When I traveled to Bolivia with World Vision last year to see what child sponsorship looks like on the ground, I admit I was skeptical. But armed with questions you submitted via the blog and a notebook in which I scribbled notes like a reporter, I came to see just how powerful and life-changing child sponsorship can be. As a result, the Bolivia Bloggers trip generated over 120 child sponsorships, more than 20 of which came from you. You can see all the Bolivia posts here. 

3.  We  wrestled with tough questions of faith together.

We talked about the slippery slope, about being caught in between liberal Christianity and conservative Christianity, about Calvinism, about washing the feet of our LGBT brothers and sisters, about creation and evolution, about doubt, about “Love Wins,” about following Jesus, about how to love the Bible for what it is not what we want it to be.

I confessed my fears of motherhood (the comment section after that one is perhaps my favorite ever), my struggle to find identity in the Christian “industry,” my not-so-holy Holy Week, my mistakes, my questions, my April Fools jokes, my joys. 

You listened. You debated. You asked questions. You contributed. You pushed back. You gave me permission. You left comments that I printed up and hung on my wall. There are conversations that happened on this blog that changed my perspective on life forever. I hope you can say the same. 

2.  We stood up for gender equality in the Church. 

There are folks who don’t like the fact that we talk about this on the blog, and no doubt it has cost me some readers, but in spite of all the criticism (some of it deserved), I am incredibly proud of the way we have stood up for gender equality in the Church.  This is no easy conversation to have, but it’s an important one. 

I am glad that we stood up to The Gospel Coalition and Doug Wilson’s damaging language regarding women and sex.  I am glad we responded to John Piper’s call for a “masculine Christianity” with a beautiful celebration of women in the Church. I have heard from many women who have told me that our boldness in these contexts has given them the courage they need to speak up in situations where their voices have been drowned out or, in some cases, silenced. 

By far the most rewarding week of my blogging career was Mutuality 2012, when I did my best to make a case for gender equality  in the home and  Church, drawing support from Scripture, reason, tradition, and the example of Christ. With your help, I addressed Genesis 1-3, the Peter and Paul and the Greco-Roman household codes, misconeptions regarding egalitarianism, the problems of patriarchy, and those difficult passages about Ephesian women teaching and leading men. The week included a synchroblog that added many of your voices to the conversation, and the comment section that week was packed with its usual gems--from Hebrew scholars, to experts on Greco-Roman culture, to women pastors, to moms and dads who just want to make the Church a more hospitable environment for their daughters. 

I printed my favorite comment from the week, (posted after MImi Haddad’s interview), on a piece of paper and hung it above my desk: 

"I'm sitting at my desk reading this response after a very busy, tiring day of work. And I have tears in my eyes. To think that I, as a woman, am equal. To think that I, as a woman, am a reflection of my Creator. To think that I, as a woman, have God-given(!) gifts to serve AND to lead. And to think that God (my Creator) and Jesus (my Savior) actually care about the all of the wounds that feel so raw, that They (and even others I've encountered here) care about justice for a woman like me. I don't know how to explain this and please forgive me if it makes sense only to me: I feel like a woman whose dignity is being restored word by word by word in this beautiful series. And God Himself is restoring it. I feel myself literally sitting taller in my chair as I write these lines."

That one comment made every day of blogging prior to it totally worth it. 

1. We created a safe place for “travelers” to talk. 

In my very first blog post, dated December 28, 2007 and entitled “Traveling Mercies for the Consummate Ass,” I wrote this: 

"Spiritual pride is always a temptation for the believer, and I sincerely hope it is avoided on this blog. No one's journey is the same. There is much to learn from one another. So instead, I would like this little spot on the Web to serve as a sort of traveler's forum, a place for exchanging adventure stories, survival tips, and those priceless hole-in-the-wall recommendations that make a journey memorable. I look forward to sharing my own ideas, and I look forward to hearing from you."

I am grateful beyond words to have travelled these 1,000 posts with you. You have made this blog what it is, and despite its faults, I think we can be proud of it. 

Here’s to 1,000 more! 

***

To celebrate, I’m giving away three advance review copies of A Year of BIblical Womanhood!  To enter, leave  a  comment indicating about  how long  you’ve been reading the blog and, (if you can think of one), a link or reference to your favorite post. (You can search here.)  I'll randomly choose 3 winners to receive a copy of my new book and a thank-you note. **Contest will run today only, September 24, through 11:59 p.m. EST**)

***

Update: Congrats to Bob Keeley, Janet, and Stephanie Crabtree - winners of the review copy of "A Year of Biblical Womanhood"! (Selected via random.org.) And thank you all for your incredibly kind comments. Brought tears to my eyes.

Comment thread is now closed. 

Looking for feedback...

Every now and then I like to take a day or two to reflect on how to make the blog better, and for that I need your help.  

You guys do a great job of providing feedback through the comment section, Facebook, and Twitter, but it’s helpful if I can consolidate that advice now and then.

So, three questions: 

1. What do you want to hear from me? More (or less) personal /humorous stories? More (or less)reflections on gender issues? More (or less) thoughts about faith and doubt? More (or less)book/movie reviews? More (or less) theological conversations? More (or less) about my experiences in the Christian publishing/speaking industry? More (or less) opportunities to ask me questions? More (or less) writing/blogging/publishing tips? More (or less) lengthy discussions about infections I get in my eye?  Tell me what you want to hear from me.  

2. What do you want to hear from others?  What suggestions do you have for our “Ask a...” series? (Should it continue or are you tired of it?) What sort of guest posts would you like to read? What groups do you feel have been underrepresented on the blog? Whose stories are you eager to hear? Who would you like to see interviewed? (Be specific!)  

3. How can I hear from you? My biggest concern about the growth of the blog is that we lose that sense of community, particularly in the comment section.  (I’m thinking of getting some help in monitoring comments. 200+ a day is just too much to for one person to handle.) How can I nurture conversation with readers? What makes you feel heard and valued? 

Feel free to answer one or all of the questions. And please take advantage of the “like” feature so I can see which responses are most popular. As always, I am so grateful for this community and all I have learned from you through the years. Have a great weekend!

10 Tips for Dealing with Online Criticism

Each week, I receive between 400-700 comments on the blog, a small percentage of which are critical. Every day, one or two people will take to Twitter, Facebook, or their own blogs to tell me I’m doing something wrong.  As someone who has always struggled to receive criticism graciously, without throwing things, blogging has been an instructive endeavor, a refining fire of sorts. And so, for those of you who find yourself in heated conversations online, I offer a few tips I’ve learned along the way:

1. Wait. No criticism seems constructive at first, so step away from the computer before responding. Go on a run, practice centering prayer, throw something across the room, hang out with friends, bake a freaking cake if you have to. Then, when you come back, the constructive criticisms will surface as such, and you can respond with openness and grace instead of getting defensive. 

2. Engage the positive. If, out of 200 comments, 199 are positive, encouraging, and constructive to the conversation, and 1 is negative, my natural tendency is to go to bed that night stewing over the single negative comment.  (Same goes for book reviews. If, out of 70 Amazon reviews, 68 are 4-5 stars, you better believe I’m going to click on the two three-star review to see what the heck that’s all about.) This is human nature, of course, but what I’ve been telling myself lately is it’s not fair to the 199 readers who took the time and effort to add something personal, thoughtful, wise, and encouraging to the conversation when I only remember and engage that single negative comment. I am essentially giving the one negative person more power than the other 199 people combined! When I allow myself to be as connected and engaged with the positive comments as I am with the negative comments, it’s amazing how my attitude changes. Suddenly I become deeply appreciative of my readers, ready to engage in the most constructive elements of the conversation. I go from being Cruella de Vil to Ann Voskamp in a matter of seconds. 

3. Don’t feed the trolls. A troll is a supernatural being in Norse mythology and Scandinavian folklore who lives in rocks and caves and is at enmity with mankind.  A troll is also an angst-ridden 18-year-old who dumps nasty comments on your blog that are so mean, so off-topic, and so totally out of left field, they’re not worth engaging. These comments are meant to incite discord, and often they work. As a blogger, the very worst thing you can do is encourage this sort of behavior by arguing with a troll. My advice is to delete trollish comments right away before they hijack the conversation. Remember, no one has a “right” to post on your blog. It’s your space; you want to make it as welcoming to guests as possible, and sometimes that means sending the drunk uncle out the back door. 

4. Leave space in your heart and mind for constructive criticism.  Like it or not, sometimes your critics are right. Sometimes they see something in your attitude, your assumptions, or your position that needs adjusting. Through the years, my readers have pointed out several blind spots in my life, and I am incredibly grateful for that. 

5. “Always assume there is someone in the room who knows more about the topic at hand than you do.” I put this in quotes because it’s something Dan always says. (Dan’s a super-smart guy, by the way. In fact, I daresay he’s likely to be the person in the room who knows more about the topic at hand than you do.) In addition to leaving space in your heart, mind, and blog for constructive criticism, be sure to leave space for folks with more expertise to refine and augment your ideas. When I first started blogging, I felt like I had to be the authority on everything I wrote about, and when that authority was “questioned” by someone who knew more about the issue than I did,  I freaked out. I got defensive. Now, after a few years of trial and error, and after realizing my readership includes astrophysicists, anthropologists, Hebrew scholars, actual pastors, and actual parents, I’ve learned to step back and learn from the best. Your goal as a blogger is to START conversations, not finish them. Now I consider it an honor to have people who are significantly smarter than me weigh in in the comment section. In fact, one thing I love about our online community is that the comment section is often a better read than the original post! 

6. Memorize this prayer from St. Teresa of Avila. I say it almost daily. 

7. Disarm critics by being nicer than they expect you to be. Once, a blogger writing for a complementarian organization wrote a scathing critique of my next book....back before I’d even sent the final manuscript to the publisher! The article included several factual errors and a lot of assumptions about my motives for taking on the year of biblical womanhood project. I was mad at first, but then I realized that the woman writing the piece, and the readers chiming in in disgust, were simply defending against what they perceived to be an attack on their lifestyle and choices. No wonder they were upset. So I left a gentle, gracious comment correcting the article’s mistakes, apologizing for not making myself more clear, and clarifying my intentions in taking on the project. It was amazing to watch as the tone of the comments took a dramatic turn for the positive. You never lose ground by being kind. If anything, you give yourself a better chance at actually being heard. 

8. Apologize. I’ve felt compelled to issue an apology a couple of times on the blog, and often in the comment section....because, you know, sometimes I’m wrong...and mean.  

9.  Ask yourself why some criticisms hurt and others don’t. Criticism can play an instructive role in your life when you pay close attention to your reaction to it. For example, I am not at all phased by an email informing me that I am headed straight for hell for believing in evolution and “worshipping at the monkey god’s feet.” (Actual email, folks.) Why not? Well, because I know for a fact I do not worship a monkey god, (except during the new moon festival, of course), and because I am not afraid of going to hell for believing in evolution. (Maybe I should be, but I’m not.) However, a comment critiquing my writing style or challenging me for struggling to find a church will send me to my pouting chair in a matter of seconds. Why? Because I am insecure about my writing and about my search for a faith community. Those critiques touch on actual fears, actual frustrations. They hit closer to home. So if you want to learn something about yourself, pay attention to the criticisms that affect you most deeply, and make an effort to start praying through those insecurities and fears. 

10. Don’t let the praise carry you too high or the criticism drag you down too low. The truth is, excessive praise can be just as destructive as excessive criticism. The more popular your voice becomes online, the more likely you are to build up a fan base that includes a few readers who think you can do no wrong. Handing over your heart to either the lovers or the haters will turn it into a football, fought over between two “teams.” Here’s my advice: The minute you feel you are losing ownership over your emotions by handing them to your fans or your critics or your Google Analytics, STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER. Instead, spend some time with people who actually know you, like, people who live in your hometown and know what your laugh sounds like.  As much as I value and appreciate my online friendships, the most important people in my life are the ones who know me outside of my writing. These people know about my tendency to exaggerate, my messy house, my super-ugly glasses that I have to wear when my contacts dry up, my inability to solve very basic math problems, my bleeding heart, my baking skills, my cooking disasters. And they love me anyway. These people love me for who I am, not what I write down or how I “perform.” And so they are the best ones to tell me when I’ve gone off track, to offer advice, encouragement, and constructive criticism.  Listen to those trusted people, even if they are just a few. Never allow your online supporters or critics to gain a louder voice than they have. 

***

See also: "On Growing Thick(er) Skin"

So, what would you add to this list? What have you learned about dealing with online criticism? Got any questions about online dialog for a seasoned blogger with a pouting chair?

The boring reason my blog traffic has grown

Timothy Dalrymple wrote an excellent post about blogging and controversy this week that I mostly agree with...except this part: 

"Rachel Held Evans is an excellent blogger, yet the posts that have made her reputation (and have expanded her following) have mostly been responses to sexism controversies."

I appreciate the shout-out, but the fact of the matter is, I didn’t increase my blog traffic by writing about sexism controversies. I increased by blog traffic by posting every day.

 It all started back in February of 2011 when, after three years of blogging, I decided I wanted to really focus on growing the blog. I began by taking notes on what some of my favorite successful bloggers were doing. I kept a notebook full of ideas, but two major things jumped out at me: 

1) Popular bloggers posted regularly –  every single day (or at least five days a week)

2) Popular bloggers served as RESOURCES for their readers, which meant that they didn’t always have to generate a post themselves, but regularly included interviews, links, guest posts, videos, news, etc. that would be of interest to their readers. 

And so, in February of 2011, I started doing these two things.  It only took a  month  for me to double my traffic, and it’s continued growing ever since. In fact,  these two principles inspired me to launch our interview series, our Bible series, and our Sunday Superlatives—all of which are reliable traffic boosters. (And, for the record, my most popular post of all time had nothing to do with sexism.) 

Sure, posts about John Piper and Mark Driscoll always get a lot of hits—I’m guessing that’s true for most bloggers—but to say writing controversial posts is all it takes to garner a following is simply not true.

 I’m not writing this because I feel defensive...(well, maybe I feel a little defensive)...but because I want to demystify this notion of “successful” blogging a bit. If you want to increase your blog traffic, 1) post regularly, and 2) know your readers well enough to serve as a reliable resource for them.  

Then your controversial posts will get the attention they deserve, not simply because they are controversial, but because you’ve put in the hard work it takes to earn the right to be heard.