A review of "Torn" by Justin Lee

First, I read it and loved it. 

Then, I loaned it to Dan, and he read it and loved it. 

Then, I loaned it to my parents, and they read it and loved it. 

And the book hadn’t even been released yet! 

This is the power of Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate by Justin Lee, which officially releases today. (Justin participated in one of our most popular "Ask A…" interviews, "Ask a Gay Christian.") It’s the only book about homosexuality and the Church that I feel comfortable recommending to everyone—from my gay friends to my parents.  The minute I finished, I turned to Dan, tears streaming down my face, and said, “This one is a game-changer.” 

I had the privilege of receiving an advance review copy of Torn, in which Justin shares his story.   Nicknamed "God Boy" by his peers, Justin knew that he was called to a life in the evangelical Christian ministry. But he harbored a secret: He also knew that he was gay. With humor, vulnerability, and an accessibility that both disarms and delights, Lee recalls the events—his coming out to his parents, his experiences with the "ex-gay" movement, and his in-depth study of the Bible—that led him, eventually, to self-acceptance. 

Here’s what I wrote for the back cover: 

“This is the most important book I've read in years, and it will be the first I recommend to anyone interested in bridging the divide between the LGBT community and the church. Justin has given us a precious gift with this story. May we receive it with the same courage and faith with which it was delivered." 

I cannot recommend this book enough.  What makes it so effective is how relatable Justin’s story is.  His high school experience could have been mine—loving and involved parents, public school, a life that revolved around a conservative evangelical youth group, a true passion for Jesus and the Bible. 

The only difference is that Justin was gay. 

He didn’t choose to be gay. 

He didn’t want to be gay. 

His parents didn’t make him gay. (The number of Christian counselors who tried to convince Justin that his same-sex attraction was his parents’ "fault" is one of the most sickening, heartbreaking parts of this story.) 

He was (and is) just gay. 

And no amount of praying,  counseling, and self-hatred could change that. 

So Justin sets out to make sense of it….and he does so with more grace and forgiveness than seems reasonable.  He does so with the humility and love of Christ. Though he would have every right to lambast the failures of evangelicalism, Justin’s love for Christ and His Church seeps through every page of this book. It humbled me, and it will humble you. 

I think we can all sense a shift in momentum regarding the future of the LGBT community, and for Christians who feel torn about this, Torn is the best place to start. As I’ve said before, the best way to move beyond a culture war mentality is to listen to one another’s stories, and Justin’s is just the kind of story we need to hear right now. You may not agree with all of his conclusions, but you will be challenged and changed by his story. 

As soon as I’m out from under all this book release/travel craziness, we will continue this conversation. In the meantime, I encourage you to read Torn, and we’ll use it as a starting point for future discussions. 

You buy it here, or wherever books are sold. 

6 Things You Should Know About (+ A Giveaway!)

Update: Congratulations to Gayla Gower, Alana, and Alex - winners of a free copy of "Red Letter Christians" by Shane Claiborne and Tony Campolo...compliments of Thomas Nelson. 

1. Election Day Communion 

This is a brilliant idea that encourages churches across the country to hold communion services on the evening of November 6 so that Christians of all political affiliations and denominations can “share this sacred act of communion together, reaffirming our allegiance to Christ.”  The purpose is to bring people together on a day that often divides. Already, 265 congregations, schools, and groups in 44 states have pledged to participate. Looks like a group in Chattanooga will be holding one. Hope Dan and I can make it.  Be sure to check out the Web site for more information. 

2. Malala – A Young Woman of Valor 

Malala Yousufzai is a 14-year-old Pakistani girl who was shot in the head by members of the Taliban this week for her outspoken advocacy for the rights of girls in her country to go to school. She blogged for the BBC about education and won the National Peace Award in Paskistan last year. 

As many have noted, this happened just before the first annual International Day of the Girl, meant to highlight gender inequity around the world—particularly as it concerns lack of education, child brides, and slavery.  You can learn more about that, including how you can help, here. 

3. The Crowd, The Critic, and the Muse by Michael Gungor 

I just finished this one and really enjoyed it.  Beautifully and honestly written, The Crowd, the Critic, and the Muse explores some of the toughest questions confronting artists these days, particularly in our increasingly loud and cluttered creative culture. I read it while trudging through my own creative desert and it proved to be just the oasis I needed. Michael Gungor writes with humor, insight, wisdom, and grace. This is one of the only books on creativity I’ve read that speaks directly into some of the things I struggle with as a writer whose work is digested…and criticized…primarily online. You can get it here. 

4. Haiti Bloggers 

Help One Now Haiti has a pretty amazing team of bloggers reporting from Haiti this week, including Sarah Bessey, Jen Hatmaker, Mary DeMuth, Kristen Howerton, and Dierdra Riggs. (You can find them on Twitter with  #Help1Haiti.) Some great posts coming out of the trip this week include Sarah’s “In which God doesn’t look the same anymore,” Mary’s “5 Myths About Haiti,” and Kristen’s “Standing Firm and Looking Forward.” 

If you are interested in partnering with Help One Now with microfinance loans, you can make a one-time donation here.  You can sponsor a child in tent city here.

5. Launch Team update 

We had more than 300 people apply to be part of the launch team for A Year of Biblical Womanhood, and because I absolutely hate not including everyone—especially when just about everyone had amazing ideas and meaningful words of encouragement—I’ve left the selection process to my team at Thomas Nelson. They’ve got their work cut out for them, let me tell you. Expect to hear in the next couple of days if you’ve been chosen. (Ugh! This feels like Calvinism!) Thank you all so much for your ideas and enthusiasm. Brought me to grateful tears! 

6. Red Letter Revolution by Shane Claiborne and Tony Campolo

Red Letter Revolution by Shane Claiborne and Tony Campolo released this week and is a delightful read. Presented in a conversational format, in which Shane and Tony essentially talk through what it means to be “red letter Christians,” touching on everything from violence, to community, to Islam, to sexuality, to liturgy, to saints, the book is highly practical and, as always, incredibly challenging. This is a great book to start with if you’re new to the “red letter” movement, and I’m happy to report that Thomas Nelson has provided 3 copies for me to give away today!  So, if you’re interested, leave a comment indicating that you would like a copy of Red Letter Revolution by midnight (EST) tonight. I’ll randomly select three winners from the comment section (using random.org). 

Good luck!

**

So, what should I know about? What else is happening in the world? 

Something you should know about...

Half the Church: Recapturing God's Global Vision for Women

By Carolyn Custis James

If you had the privilege of catching PBS’ Independent Lens special, “Half the Sky,” based on the book by the same name authored by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn, you will want to know that the Kindle edition of Carolyn Custis James’ amazing book, Half the Church, is on sale this week for $1.99!

In Half the Church, James argues that the Church’s emphasis on marriage and motherhood is not far-reaching enough to encompass every woman’s whole life within a multicultural, rapidly changing world. In order to take on the sort of injustices we encounter in Half the Sky, Christian women must be freed to lead and to capitalize on God’s positive, life-affirming vision for them. I named it as one of my favorite books on justice here. 

Just thought I'd let you know!

Giving away a little happiness today! (Win a copy of “Happier at Home”)

“Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure, 
nor this thing nor that, 
but simply growth. 
We are happy when we are growing.” 
– W. B. Yeats

As a rule, I don’t like self-help books. 

I don’t think happiness or godliness can be taught in ten steps, a meaningful life created through a list of bullet points or a magic Bible verse. I am skeptical of writers who claim that we’re all just one book away from a more fulfilled life, and speakers who promise to unlock the single secret to joy. 

...Which is precisely why I loved Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project. 

I read this book as I was researching the (cleverly-dubbed) “schtick lit” genre in preparation for my “year of biblical womanhood,” and I didn’t expect to like it. 

But I loved it. 

I loved it because Gretchen never attempts to play the guru, but instead approaches her quest for a happier life with openness, curiosity, and pragmatism. It’s no wonder that one of Gretchen’s favorite teachers is St. Thérèse of Lisieux, for she tackles happiness the same way Thérèse tackled holiness—one little, practical, doable step at a time. 

The Happiness Project gave me permission to be more deliberate about the little things that positively affect my outlook on life—getting enough sleep, making the bed in the morning (even if nothing else gets done around the house that day!), recognizing that I’m an abstainer not a moderator, rewarding myself not by skipping a run but by completing it, tracking my growth, clearing away clutter, etc.  The first book provided super-practical tips that I cold tailor to my own lifestyle and preferences, and I can honestly say they have helped me find my happiness “triggers.” And so I was thrilled to receive an early review copy of Gretchen’s follow-up, Happier at Home, which released just this week.  

While the first book tackled happiness in general, Happier at Home focuses, as you might suspect, on the home: possessions, marriage, time, parenthood, etc. I’ve not yet finished reading Happier at Home but already I’ve resolved to: 

• Display more pictures in our home.
•  Replace our broken toaster. (Oddly enough, Grethen’s toaster was also broken and she kept putting off replacing it. We’re both what she calls “under-buyers”- not an inherently bad thing of course, but we can make life more complicated and frustrating by delaying simple solutions even when they are affordable and wise.)
• Offer to help Dan more often. 
• Embark on more little adventures. 
• Start crossing things off my list by NOT DOING THEM! 

I like that last one the best. 

Sometimes I think Christians especially fall into the trap of thinking of joy in terms of the lofty and abstract, which can keep us from doing those practical, daily things that bring us closer to God—prayer, contemplation, fellowship, gratitude, small acts of kindness and generosity.  Happier at Home is a good reminder that big change begins with little steps. 

Anyway, I’m sure I’m not the only Gretchen Rubin fan out there, so I’m pleased to offer a giveaway on the blog today. Just leave a comment about something practical that increases your sense of well-being (praying the hours, working out at the Y, baking bread, watching Nick at Nite with your spouse, whatever), and at the end of the day (midnight, EST), I’ll randomly select a commenter to receive a free copy of Happier at Home. (Be sure to log in to DISQUS in such a way that I can find your email address to contact you if you win.)

 Good luck!

[Check out Gretchen's blog.)

*** Congrats to Dana Spivey, who was randomly selected (random.org) as our HAPPY winner! ***

A small, strange victory for vaginas everywhere...

Some women run for public office. 

Others devote their lives to activism on behalf of their sex.  

Still others launch non-profit organizations that help lift women and their communities out of poverty. 

Me? I use the anatomically correct term to describe the female anatomy. (Be the change!)

That’s right.  The word “vagina” is back in the book. 

When I first mentioned that I’d been asked by my publisher to take the word “vagina” out of my manuscript for A Year of Biblical Womanhood in deference to the general preferences of Christian bookstores, I never expected you guys to care, much less do something about it.

But within a few days, you had written blog posts, started an Amazon petition, coined the term “Vaginagate", created “Team Vagina” t-shirts, called a bunch of Christian bookstores, and pleaded with me to stick to my guns and keep the word “vagina” in the book.

(You can imagine how proud my parents were to learn my vagina was getting all this attention online.)  

Emboldened by your response, I went back to my editor and asked to put the word “vagina” back in its context. I figured it was more important to listen to the voices of an impassioned readership than to objections within the Christian industry.

Well, good news— last week my editor informed me that “vagina” was a go. The word is back in the book! I’m not sure how this will affect purchases from Christian bookstores, but it doesn’t really matter to me anymore. You guys have reminded me that we have more power than we think, that writers in this industry need not accept the status quo, especially when their readers really care about their work. 

So thank you for being bold for me. This is your change, your editorial note; feel free to add your autograph to the margin when you read “vagina” in your copy in October.

This whole adventure has highlighted some problematic trends in Christian publishing and retailing that I hope will continue to be talked about. I can’t tell you how many current and former editors contacted me to commiserate. (No really, I can’t tell you. Folks are afraid of losing their jobs.) Clearly, something needs to change, and perhaps those of us without jobs on the line need to speak up more often.

Because Christians who wish to remain engaged in the culture can’t afford to be scandalized by a little ol’ vagina. 

***

(Note: A Year of Biblical Womanhood doesn’t release until October, but you can pre-order now.)