On a Lighter Note - How Unfair is This?

My husband Dan went in for a check-up the other day, and came back with strict instructions from his doctor to eat a bowl of ice cream before bed every night. 

Those who know Dan know that he’s a little on the thin side. This year he burned some extra calories fixing up and re-selling an old house in downtown Dayton, so he really needs to put on a few pounds. 

I have a hard time feeling sorry for him. 

Dan can eat an entire sleeve of Oreos in one sitting and wash them down with a giant glass of milk, and not gain an ounce. All I have to do is look at them and I’ll see the affects on my hips the next morning. With swimsuit season looming, I’ve just started my annual routine of running an extra mile in the afternoons, watching my caloric intake, and being perpetually cranky, all the while adding whole milk, bacon, sausage, pasta, ice cream, and peanut butter to my grocery list for Dan. 

I suggested that we go on Oprah to get advice from Dr. Oz, but Dan wasn’t crazy about the idea. 

Anyway, I have faith that our love…and a few bon bons…will get us through this difficult time. In the meantime, because I consider myself a bit of an expert on weight gain, I’ve compiled the following tips to help Dan out. If you can think of more, send me your comments! 

1. Don’t eat because you are hungry. Eat whenever you feel excited, antsy, depressed, angry, or bored. 

2. Graze. Leave open containers of potato chips and candy sitting around and just grab a handful at a time. 

3. The drive-through is your friend. 

4. Get second and third helpings of all my delicious meals…or grab a Hot Pocket out of the freezer when I’m not looking. 

5. Follow the time-honored Southern tradition of frying everything!

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Your $42 million letter is in the mail

Dan and I got our economic stimulus payment notice from the IRS today. It basically said, “Hey, you’re going to get money back from the government in a few months; just thought we’d let you know!“ I had to laugh, because I’d just read an article about how mailing this notice to taxpayers across the country cost $42 million. So much for fiscal responsibility!

You gotta check out the link:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23525100/

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Second Honeymoon in LeGrange

Hello from LeGrange, Georgia! Never heard of it? Neither had we until we got stuck here in an attempt to avoid the hail, tornados, and flash floods plaguing Atlanta today.

On our way back from a conference with one of my clients at Calloway Gardens (about 70 miles south of the city), Dan and I got word of the weather and decided to call it a day. So we’re hanging out at the Hampton Inn in LaGrange, enjoying cable TV, room service, and (lucky me) free Wi-Fi. We haven’t even seen a drop of rain.

The funny thing is, after a crazy busy week, with both of us going 100-miles-per-hour in different directions, we’re really enjoying ourselves. I guess sometimes an unexpected delay can turn out to be a blessing...or at least a reminder that it never hurts to slow down for a few hours.

So, do not disturb. We’re vacationing in LaGrange!

(P.S. More posts about Hillary/Obama to come! Thanks for your interesting comments.

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Books and Bicep Curls

Friends James and Michelle recently donated a new clothes line…er…exercise machine to our home. It was my idea to accept it, (Dan was skeptical), so I made space for it my office, where I have vowed to use it at least three times a week before swimsuit season. 

As we set it up, Dan’s face betrayed his thoughts. His “I’m looking at a liability” expression is unmistakable to me. But he didn’t say anything because, as Christian married people who have read all the Christian married people books, we know that suppressed anger is what Christian married people do best. Besides, we had agreed early on that once we decided to take it, we wouldn’t second guess ourselves. 

As the thing came together, however, it became apparent that while there clearly isn’t room for the exercise machine in my office, there might just be a little room for my office next to the exercise machine. This gave me the opportunity to file away a mountain of old paperwork and organize my books. I now have a clean and clear space of my own for reading, writing, and bicep curls.  

So, here’s to the new exercise machine! I’ve been enjoying it thoroughly…I’d say at least once a week

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Fantasy Dinner Party

I might be the only person in the world who ever thinks about this, but sometimes when I can’t fall asleep at night I like to imagine who I would invite to my fantasy dinner party. It’s sort of like playing fantasy football, only the “sport” is conversation and my “players” are interesting people. 

These are the people who have made it to my list so far:

1. Condoleeza Rice: Smart and powerful, she’s traveled the world and met some of its most notable figures. I’m sure she’s got stories to tell and ideas to discuss. Also, she’s a concert pianist. How cool is that? 

2. Oprah: A great communicator and philanthropist, she always asks great questions in interviews and brings attention to important causes. I know it’s cheesy, but she actually inspires me to be more introspective and work harder toward my goals…(and I bet if you asked, 90 percent of American women would tell you the same thing.) 

3. Jon Meacham: He’s the editor of Newsweek and knows just about everything about religion in America. 

4. Rory Stewart: This guy walked across Iran, Pakistan, India, Nepal, Afghanistan, and Iraq and lived to write a couple of books about it. Enough said! 

5. Donald Miller: Author of Blue Like Jazz, I like how this guy thinks. 

6. Warren Buffet: Who wouldn’t want to pick his brain?

7. Tina Fey: Just in case the conversation got too serious. 

So, who else should I add? Who would make it to your list. (They have to be alive.) What do you think we would talk about?

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