Ask a Mixed-Faith Couple…

I often receive messages from readers asking for advice on how to respond when they learn a spouse has left the Christian faith. So this morning I am thrilled to introduce you to Jason and Alise Wright, a mixed-faith couple who writes about this topic often and who have graciously agreed to share their insights and advice as part of our ongoing “Ask a…” interview series. 

Jason and Alise met in 1992 at a Christian music festival, and that set the stage for a relationship that revolved around the church. For nearly 13 years of marriage, they shared the same Christian faith. Jason attended Bible college, they played together on worship teams, and Jason led various church Bible studies. Then in October 2009, Jason revealed that he no longer believed in God, rattling one of the foundations of their marriage.

As they worked through this change, Jason and Alise discovered that there was much more holding their marriage together than pulling it apart, and they began to work in their faith communities to bring about a greater understanding of what the others actually believe and to bring about a better dialog between atheists and Christians.

Offline, Jason works as a software trainer for electronic medical records and plays drums with another local musician. Alise teaches the piano and plays in a cover band. They are raising four children together and they both love to watch a nice, loud sci-fi movie in their free time.

Online, you can find Jason’s thoughts about leaving Christianity and living as an atheist in a primarily Christian family and community at TokenAtheist. Alise is currently writing a series on her blog called The Christian Guide to Atheists where each week she examines a misconception that some Christians hold about atheists. She will be speaking at the Wild Goose Festival this August on this topic as well. And because Alise is far more addicted to social media than her husband, you can also connect with her on Twitter and Facebook.

You know the drill. If you have a question for Jason and/or Alise, leave it in the comment section. Be sure to utilize the "like" feature so we can get a sense of what questions are of most interest to you. After 24-hours, I'll pose seven of the most popular questions to Jason and Alise and post their responses next week.

Ask away!

(You can check out every installment of our interview series—which includes “Ask an atheist,” “Ask a nun,” “Ask a pacifist,” “Ask a Calvinist,” “Ask a Muslim,” “Ask a gay Christian,” “Ask a Pentecostal” “Ask an environmentalist,” “Ask a funeral director,” "Ask a Liberation Theologian,"  "Ask Shane Claiborne," "Ask Jennifer Knapp," and  many more— here.) 

Ask a recovering alcoholic...(+ a book giveaway)

Our "Ask a..." series continues today with Heather Kopp, a Christian alcoholic in recovery. 

Heather is an author, editor, and blogger at HeatherKopp.com. She’s published more than two-dozen non-fiction books. Her recovery memoir, Sober Mercies: How Love Caught Up with a Christian Drunk  (Hachette/Jericho) releases TODAY, May 7. 

As a long-time Christian, Heather never expected to become an out-of-control alcoholic who kept private stashes of booze all over the place—tucked behind books in her study, zipped into a special compartment in her oversized purse, at the back of her closet stuffed inside her boots. 

Even as her writing work and marriage teetered on the brink, she desperately hiding the true extent of her drinking from the rest of the world—her husband included. During the day she wrote about God and prayer and family. At night she’d locked herself in her bathroom to guzzle chardonnay.

For her, as for many Christians who struggle with addiction, overwhelming shame and confusion only made things worse. Why wasn’t her faith enough to save her? Why didn’t repentance, Bible reading and prayer work? Where was God? 

Meanwhile, her grown son descended into his own nightmare of drugs and alcohol. She feared for his life, yet she couldn’t stop drinking long enough to help him—or find a way out for herself.

Until the day everything changed. 

In Sober Mercies, Heather shares her journey into darkness…and back to the light again. Her story reveals the unique challenges and spiritual conundrums Christians face when they become ensnared in an addiction, and the redemption that’s possible when we finally reach the end of ourselves. 

I had the pleasure of reading an advance review copy of Heather's book, and absolutely loved it. I was surprised by how little I knew about alcoholism, particularly how hard it can be for recovering alcoholics to be surrounded by social drinkers who aren't always sensitive to the challenges their friends in recovery face. I found Heather's chapters about her twelve-step group inspiring and challenging, a little picture of what the church is meant to be.  Heather's story--honestly and beautifully told--invites us all to the table, baggage in tow, to confront our shared brokenness, our shared hopes, and our shared need for community, forgiveness, and grace.

I wanted to introduce Heather's story to you, and she graciously agreed to be interviewed as part of our "Ask a..." series! 

You know the drill. If you have a question for Heather, leave it in the comment section. Be sure to utilize the "like" feature so we can get a sense of what questions are of most interest to you. After 24-hours, I'll pose seven of the most popular questions to Heather and post her responses next week.

In addition, if you leave a question in the comment section, you will automatically be entered to win a free copy of Sober Mercies. Contests will run through the end of the day (May 7) at midnight, EST. I will choose three winners via random.org. 

Ask away!

(You can check out every installment of our interview series—which includes “Ask an atheist,” “Ask a nun,” “Ask a pacifist,” “Ask a Calvinist,” “Ask a Muslim,” “Ask a gay Christian,” “Ask a Pentecostal” “Ask an environmentalist,” “Ask a funeral director,” "Ask a Liberation Theologian,"  "Ask Shane Claiborne," "Ask Jennifer Knapp," and  many more— here.) 

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Ask a stay-at-home dad...

Today we pick up our popular "Ask a…" series again with "Ask a stay-at-home dad." 

In July of 2009, Sonny Lemmons chose to put his 13-year career in Higher Education Administration on hold to become a full-time stay-at-home dad - despite the fact that he had never changed a diaper before his son was born. Originally from Mississippi, Sonny has worked at both public and private universities in the areas of Leadership Development and Academic Advising. He has also volunteered and served vocationally in ministry positions at churches, ranging from youth and college groups to team teaching and creative teams. His wife Ashley currently serves as the Assistant Director of Residence Life at the University of South Carolina.

Sonny has spent most of his free time in the last three years (aka "Malakai's nap time") documenting life as a stay-at-home dad from a faith-based perspective. His essay "Committing Professional Suicide" was selected as the lead article in the anthology series The Myth of Mr. Mom, which peaked as the #1 eBook on Fatherhood at Amazon.com. Sonny will also be published in two books later this year from Civitas Press: Not Afraid and Finding Church. His essays on life and faith have been featured at Prodigal Magazine where he has recently been added as a Featured Writer, as well as at Church Leaders and Faith Village. 

Sonny blogs at Looking Through the Windshield, and he routinely posts the cutest photos of his kid or commentaries on coffee and craft beer on Twitter, so be sure to check him out there. 

You know the drill: If you have a question for Sonny, leave it in the comment section. At the end of the day, I’ll pick the top seven or eight questions and send them to him. We'll post Sonny's responses next week.  Be sure to take advantage of the “like” feature so that we can get a sense of what questions are of most interest to readers. 

Ask away! 

(You can check out every installment of our interview series—which includes “Ask an atheist,” “Ask a nun,” “Ask a pacifist,” “Ask a Calvinist,” “Ask a Muslim,” “Ask a gay Christian,” “Ask a Pentecostal” “Ask an environmentalist,” “Ask a funeral director,” and  many more--here.)

Ask a transgender Christian...

Today, as we continue our popular “Ask a...” interview series, I’m pleased to introduce you to Lisa Salazar, a Christian who is transgender. 

Lisa was born in Colombia, grew up in California and moved to Vancouver, BC in the early 1970s to start a successful career as a graphic designer and photographer. After living for 25 years as a devoted husband and father, Lisa was diagnosed with gender dysphoria. She had struggled with a gender identity that did not conform to her biological sex ever since she could remember. She says this diagnosis was both a blessing and a curse. Though it offered an explanation for her years of struggle, confusion, and guilt, it did not offer any simple solutions.

It would take another ten years before she could come to terms with the diagnosis. She first had to reconcile what the doctors said with her faith in Jesus Christ. For years, she had used clobber passages in an attempt to correct the flaw and fight the spiritual battle. It was Jesus’ words on eunuchs that finally bridged the gap between faith and her medical condition. This allowed her to begin the difficult process of transitioning from living as a man to living as a woman; transforming her body medically and surgically. She knew it would impact the most important people in her life—her wife and three sons. For years, she had shown her love for them by attempting to die to herself daily, suppressing who she was.

In 2007, she came to the point where the most loving thing she could do now was to choose life, even if this meant making hard choices. She began her transition in July 2008. “This is not what I wanted to do—it is what I had to do," she says. "There was no thrill in this. My decision had nothing to do with courage; it was an act of desperation. The alternative was dying."

Lisa has written her autobiography, Transparently: Behind the Scenes of a Good Life, which is available on Amazon. She has given sensitivity workshops at Gay Christian Network, companies, high schools, and churches and hopes to do more in the future.

You know the drill: If you have a question for Lisa, leave it in the comment section. At the end of the day, I’ll pick the top seven or eight questions and send them to her. We'll post Lisa’s responses next week.  Be sure to take advantage of the “like” feature so that we can get a sense of what questions are of most interest to readers. I’ll be monitoring today’s questions to ensure that they are appropriate and respectful. 

(You can check out every installment of our interview series—which includes “Ask an atheist,” “Ask a nun,” “Ask a pacifist,” “Ask a Calvinist,” “Ask a Muslim,” “Ask a gay Christian,” “Ask a Pentecostal” “Ask an environmentalist,” “Ask a funeral director,” and  many more—here.)

Ask away! 

Ask an indigenous theologian...

We struggled a bit with exactly how to identify our guest today—“ask a Cherokee?” “ask a multiculturalist?” “ask a radical Cherokee Jesusee guy?”  That’s because Rev. Dr. Randy S. Woodley  is many things: a teacher, a writer, a missiologist, an activist, a poet, an historian, a former pastor, a Cherokee, a Christian, and a missionary.

Randy grew up in the multiracial Willow Run district of Ypsilanti, Michigan during the turbulent 1960s. He is the youngest child from a working class family with deep southern roots. A legal descendent of the United Keetoowah Band of Cherokee Indians, Randy has been active in service among America’s indigenous communities since 1984. Currently, he serves as Distinguished Associate Professor of Faith and Culture and Director of Intercultural and Indigenous Studies at George Fox Seminary in Portland, Oregon.

Randy and his wife Edith (E. Shoshone/Choctaw) lead a local Native American gathering at their home in Newberg, Oregon under the auspices of Eagle’s Wings Ministry. They have four children and a small, semi-sustainable farm. The Woodleys have developed a uniquely holistic model of service among Native Americans called “Ministry in a Good Way” out of which grew in 2004, a 50 acre sustainable farm and Christian community called Eloheh Village for Indigenous Leadership and Ministry Development. At Eloheh, the Woodleys taught sustainability, eco-justice, microeconomics, leadership and mission. In 2008 they gave up their farm and were forced to disband the community due to continued violence and political pressure from local White Supremacists.

Randy became a nationally known figure when he pastored the Eagle Valley Church (EVC) in Carson City, Nevada. EVC served as one of only a few authentic culturally indigenous churches and it became a model for Native Americans in the US and Canada. For over two decades, he has been considered an early innovator in the Native American cultural contextual movement.  Randy’s ministry has always preached a gospel concerned with both personal reconciliation and societal justice. He has battled systemic racism in both local communities and institutions, suffering the loss of a home, a career and threats against his life and family.

Randy has authored many articles and contributed chapters to several books, including theDictionary of Scripture and Ethics, An Emergent Manifesto of Hope, The Justice Project, The Global Dictionary of Theology, and his first monograph, Living in Color: Embracing God's Passion for Ethnic Diversity. His new book, just released this summer from Eerdmans Press, is Shalom and the Community of Creation: An Indigenous Vision. He is a founding board member of NAIITS, the North American Institute for Indigenous Theological Studies and is active in ongoing concerns of emerging faith expressions, diversity, eco-justice, reconciliation, ecumenism, inter-faith dialogue, mission and indigenous peoples.  His blog posts can be found on Ethnic Space and Faith, Emergent Village Voice and God’s Politics (Sojourners). And if, like me, you plan to be at Wild Goose West in a few weeks, you’ll get to say hello to Randy in person, as he’ll be presenting there!

You know the drill: If you have a question for Randy, leave it in the comment section. At the end of the day, I’ll pick the top seven or eight questions and send them to him. We'll post Randy’s responses next week.  Be sure to take advantage of the “like” feature so that we can get a sense of what questions are of most interest to readers.

(You can check out every installment of our interview series—which includes “Ask an atheist,” “Ask a nun,” “Ask a pacifist,” “Ask a Calvinist,” “Ask a Muslim,” “Ask a gay Christian,” “Ask a Pentecostal” “Ask an environmentalist,” “Ask a funeral director,” and  many more—here.)