Proverbs 31 FAIL

​Today’s Proverbs 31 Fail is brought to you by the letter ‘C’—which is apparently all I’m capable of creating with yarn and knitting needles. I’ve since moved on to crochet, which isn’t going much better. 

To get an idea of what I’m up against this month for the biblical womanhood project, check out my to-do list based on Proverbs 31:

Every Day:

-Get up before dawn – She gets up while it is still dark (vs. 15)

-Spend time in prayer— A woman who fears the Lord should be praised (vs. 30)

-Workout those arms– She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong(vs. 17)

-Make meals and keep the house clean - She provides food for her family (vs. 15), She watches over the affairs of the home (vs. 27)

-Do something nice for Dan – She does him good, not evil (vs. 12)

-Avoid TV, Facebook,  [She] does not eat the bread of idleness (vs. 27)

-Keep busy until dark – Her lamp does not go out at night (vs. 18) 

This Month: 

-Learn to sew– In her hand she hold the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers (vs. 19); She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands (vs. 13)

-Make a purple dress to wear – She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple(vs. 22)

-Knit a red scarf and red hat for Dan – When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet (vs. 21)

-Make pillows for the bedroom – She makes coverings for her bed (vs. 22)

-Make a "Proverbs 31" sash to sell on Ebay – She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes (vs. 23)

-Make chicken curry – She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar (vs. 14) 

-Get “servant girls” (friends +interns from Bryan College) to help with the sewing - She provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls (vs. 15) 

-Consider joining local Community Supported Agriculture -She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard (vs. 16)

 -Make an impressive spread for Dan’s Halo night with the guys – Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land (v. 23)

-Work every week at the health clinic; bring food to Food Bank and clothes to WeCare – She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy (vs. 20) 

I’m exhausted. Got any pointers?