13 Things I Won’t Do This Election Season

by Rachel Held Evans Read Distraction Free
'Vote Obama 08' photo (c) 2008, Mykl Roventine - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

I’ve been living in denial for the past few weeks, avoiding cable TV and political news sites in a futile attempt to delay my exposure to election season for as long as possible.  But now that 4,823 people in Iowa have declared that Michelle Bachmann should be the next president and the political ads are running through prime time, full immersion seems inevitable. Didn’t we just do this a few years ago? Can’t we enjoy the peace and serenity of watching the DOW jump up and down before getting bombarded with electronic maps and tacky graphics and daily poll results on CNN? 

While I can’t avoid 2012, I figure I can keep it from making me crazy by deciding on 13 things Iwon’t do this election season: 

1. Threaten to move to Canada if my candidate doesn’t win. 

2. Engage in lengthy political arguments on Facebook with people I don’t even know that well. 

3. Scarf down an entire bag of animal crackers while nervously watching a debate…(not that this has ever happened before).

4. Donate to a campaign.

5. Allow polls to dictate my mood. 

6. Write five blog posts a week about how the Republican Party has co-opted the evangelical culture to the point that the two are indistinguishable….(not that this has ever happened before). 

7. Rely exclusively on cable news for my information. 

8. Rely exclusively on John Stewart for my information. 

9. Avoid my conservative friends.  

10. Get so preoccupied with the power struggles of an earthly kingdom that I forget my first allegiance is to a heavenly kingdom that expands through patience, love, mercy, and grace. 

11. Assume that God is on my side or that a single vote can represent my "Christian values" to the world. 

12. Let anyone convince me that I should be afraid.

13. Check Facebook on election night. 

So what’s something you WON’T do this election season in order to maintain your sanity?

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