Guest Post: Adele on the Sex-Crazed American Christian Subculture

by Rachel Held Evans Read Distraction Free

I'm just a few days away from finishing the manuscript for my book, and am so thankful for friends willing to pick up the slack on the blog! Thanks to Adele for contributing this post, originally published on The Ooze. I know that not all of you will agree with her perspective, but she's a great person, so please show respect with your comments.

Sex Crazed: The American Christian Subculture

by Adele Sakler

Remember how much of the world outside the U.S. laughed during the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky debacle of the 1990's?  They weren’t laughing with us.  At times, this Western, naval-gazing, self-centered American culture seems quite laughable. Add to that, a prudish sub-culture of Evangelical Christianity wholly obsessed with sex, sexuality, and purity codes (perhaps a stubborn remnant of our Puritan heritage).  All this singular fixation, over and above so many more pressing social and ethical issues.
Why does the Evangelical community seem so preoccupied with pointing out what they perceive to be the sins of others?  Why this commitment to the role of morality police, lambasting everyone with their narrow interpretations of Scripture?  It seems their selective view of holiness is far more important than how we actually treat our fellow human beings.  Maybe if we worked harder on our own lives, focused on how we are treating others, a more holistic holiness could finally exude from our lives.
Sadly, this is my thesis: Evangelicals are nothing less than sex-crazed.
To the neglect of most other vices, Evangelicals are hyper-concerned with pointing out how being queer is a sin, and that the Bible explicitly denounces homosexual acts.  Trust me, I get it all firsthand.  But I’m not buying the rhetoric.  I disagree with what I have come to consider outmoded and out-of-context religious interpretations. Of course, I do believe they have the right to their views, as I do to my own.  Yet, I do not go around talking about their sex lives all of the time.  Call me prudish.   I think that what happens in the bedroom is between the two consenting adults who are in that bedroom.
Look, I’m trying to be a healthy, holistic person.  I don’t find my identity in any one thing.  I hope your sex life doesn’t define you, either.  Being queer does not make up the entirety of my being, any more than being a photographer, a traveler, a blogger, etc…  Sex is a normal part of a relationship, but it’s NOT all there is to that relationship.
My wife and I have all the same ups and downs of everyday life.  Just like the straight couple next door. We deal with paying bills, learning better communication skills, taking care of one-another when we’re sick or down.  We do household chores, go grocery shopping, and ALL those other little relationship accoutrements nobody writes poetry about, or makes picket signs over.  Sex is just one aspect of the many facets in our relationship.
Every day, I am learning how to love, cherish, appreciate and care for Katryna, as she does for me.  Do we have days where we fail and screw up?  Of course!  As I’m certain other couples struggle, as well.  We pray together and alone, for one-another and for others. We are like most couples, except that we are two women who happened to fall in love. We are not constantly focused on sex, nor are we dead or indifferent to it. Sex is simply a natural and integral component of our relationship, where we deepen our bonds of intimacy with one-another, and with the Divine Creator.
It really does not matter to me where people fall on the issue of homosexuality: sin or not sin. My belief is that the Scriptures have been carelessly ripped out of their cultural and historical contexts, but when properly understood, they are not so cut-and-dry. We are human beings.  We use ten percent of our brain capacity.  How can we claim certainty in knowing what G-D intended for all avenues of life?  The Bible is not an encyclopedia.  It is not a FAQ sheet.  In my view, G-D's two greatest commandments are to love G-D, and to love others as we love ourselves.  I think those were Jesus’ favorites, too.  But the fruit of these commands are seen very little on this earth. When people aren’t dealing with planks in their own eyes, and are pointing out the specks in the eyes of others, they aren’t really learning to love themselves because they don’t make time to nurture and nourish themselves.  They are obsessively focused on policing the morality or purity of others.  Without the love of self, we can’t begin to love G-D or each other.  Maybe it’s time to change focus. 

Adele SaklerShe is currently going through long-term treatment for Chronic Lyme Disease, other tick-borne diseases, and heavy metal toxicity. and is the creator and site administrator of Queermergent currently resides in Richmond, Virginia and blogs as Existential Punk at

Adele has been a Christ-follower for 20 years and an “out” queer woman for two and-a-half years. Her involvement with the emerging church and Emergent Village has filled the better part of 10 years.

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