Alise Wright: The Day Nothing Changed

I’m closing in on the final three chapters of the book and working long hours to get them finished by deadline. Fortunately, this doesn’t have to mean silence on the blog. For the next few weeks, I’ll be getting by with a little help from my friends – specifically, some of my favorite bloggers, who have contributed challenging, thoughtful, and beautifully-written posts. 

Today’s comes to us from my friend Alise Wright, who I am convinced is a sister separated at birth. Often I’ll be working on a post in my mind only to  turn on the computer and see that Alise has already written it on her AMAZING blog…and better than I would have.

Alise is married to her best friend and is the mom to four incredible kids. She loves knitting, writing, playing keyboards in a cover band, and eating soup. She also loves making new friends, and you can connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, or her blog. 

Hope you enjoy this post as much as I did. – Rachel 

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The Day Nothing Changed

The day my husband came out to me as an atheist, everything changed. We no longer shared a common faith. We no longer shared the same social circles. Our views regarding the spiritual education of our children were no longer the same. The way we celebrated holidays was now different.

But the day my husband came out to me as an atheist, nothing changed. He was still the man who had fathered four amazing children with me. He still made me laugh harder than anyone else. He was still my favorite person with whom to split some Chinese take-out and a bottle of wine. He was still the person I wanted to wake up next to every day and fall asleep beside every night. He was still passionate about justice and treating people with dignity.

The day my best friend came out to me as gay, everything changed. I had to examine all of the things I thought I knew about what it was to be a gay Christian. The way I thought about sexuality changed. The way I thought we would have to relate to one another as friends changed.

But the day my best friend came out to me as gay, nothing changed. She was still the person that I had sat with in the mall as we laughed at people trying to pick up the quarters we had super glued to the ground. She was still the person who had been my seat-mate on countless marching band trips. She was still the person who had seen me through my awkward teen years. She was still one of the kindest people that I knew.

Too often we keep people at arm’s length because we fear what might happen if we find out too much about them. We may find out that we have different theological views. Different political leanings. Different priorities. And we worry that if we discover those things, we won’t be able to find any common ground or that the commonalities that we have will disappear. We fear that our bonds of friendship will be unable to withstand the differences. We worry that our love may diminish to mere obligation.

But people are more than their faith or marital status or social position or sexual orientation or race. We have dreams and talents that we want to share. We have families that annoy us and who we love. We have people in our camps that make us cringe and those that make us cheer. We are far more alike than we are different.

As Christians, we don’t have to fear changes in our relationships, because the God who never changes sent his Son to walk among us and show us how to love one another better.

And that changed everything.

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Are there relationships in your life that have changed - and yet not changed?