Perhaps I am stronger than I think

Perhaps I am stronger than I think.
Perhaps I am even afraid of my strength, and turn it against myself, thus making myself weak. 
Making myself secure. Making myself guilty. 
Perhaps I am most afraid of the strength of God in me.
Perhaps I would rather be guilty and weak in myself, 
than strong in Him whom I cannot understand. 

- Thomas Merton (from Thomas Merton: A Book of Hours)