13 Things That Make Me a Lousy Evangelical

So I suppose that technically I am an evangelical Christian.  I follow Jesus Christ. I think a personal commitment to faith is important. I read the Bible regularly. 

However, I consistently find myself in awkward situations among my fellow evangelicals, mainly because of these 13 habits: 

1. The word “inerrancy” makes my scalp itch

2. Sometimes I vote for democrats

3. When the kids choir sings about Joshua and the Battle of Jericho, I lean over to my husband and whisper something about genocide, drawing harsh stares from parents 

4. I’ve never read The Purpose Driven Life

5. I think the earth is 4.5 billion years old

6. When we’re stuck in traffic because there’s been an awful wreck up ahead and somebody says, “Wow, God definitely had his hand on us when we left five minutes late this morning,” I ask, “But what about the people in the wreck? Did God not have his hand on them?” (I think it is this impulse that most often puts me at odds with evangelicalism…and Christianity in general) 

7. I ask a lot of annoying questions

8. I have issues with authority

9. Since discovering The Book of Common Prayer, the evangelical tradition of “popcorn prayer” sends me into a complete panic

10. As a woman, I’ve been nursing a secret grudge against the Apostle Paul for about eight years

11. I support gay rights

12. Occasionally I have nightmares about Sarah Palin becoming president

13. I have vowed never to use the phrase “It was really good for a Christian movie"

What about you? Ever feel like the black sheep in the evangelical family? Why?

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