FAQ Friday (Video) - Advice for Couples on Mutuality?

by Rachel Held Evans Read Distraction Free

Today is the first entry in a video series I'll be doing to respond to some of your frequently asked questions. When I solicited questions last week, this one from Morgan was the most popular, so I thought we'd start there. 

Morgan: Did you and Dan ever have a formal conversation about "mutuality" and equal partnership or did it just come naturally? I am getting married in July and my fiance and I both grew up under a heavily complementarian model for marriage. We started dating freshman year of college and 5 years later will be marrying with a much more evolved view of marriage and scripture than we had when we started dating. We talk about marital roles occasionally and we agree that our gender is not the dtermining factor in who "leads" and who "helps." His perspective, however, is more conservative and my perspective is more liberal. What advice would you give for couples who are dating, engaged, or even already married for discussing mutuality/gender roles in marriage? 

Here's my response: 

As a side note, we will be discussing those "submission" passages in much more depth in the weeks to come with a four-part series on the topic. In the meantime, if you are interested in learning more about mutuality in marriage and in church leadership, check out these posts from our Mutuality 2012 series: 

Week of Mutuality: How it will work, definition of terms

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we? (Genesis 1-3)

4 Common Misconceptions About Egalitarianism

Submission in Context: Christ and the Greco-Roman Household Codes

Dan on roles, leadership, and supporting your partner (Dan Evans)

Who’s Who Among Biblical Women Leaders

For the Sake of the Gospel, Let Women Speak (1 Timothy 2:11-15) 

Ask an Egalitarian...(Mimi Haddad)  

Is patriarchy really God’s dream for the world?  

When Men and Women Ministered Together as Equals (Ed Cyzewski)

Women of Valor: It’s About Character, Not Roles (Proverbs 31, Ruth)

Mutuality 2012 Synchroblog

 List of Resources

So, what advice would you give Morgan and her fiance? 


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