Last night Jared Wilson issued an apology on his Gospel Coalition blog for a post that, quoting another writer, used violent imagery to describe how men should exercise “authority” in the marriage bed. This was the right thing to do. The post was offensive, careless, and especially painful for women who have survived sexual abuse. I am thankful that Jared acknowledged the pain this post may have cause and that he took full responsibility for it. I am certain that he never meant to hurt anyone, and I believe Jared when he says he had no intention of advocating harsh male dominance, and in fact intended to advocate the opposite.
I’ve had to apologize for things I’ve said and written carelessly myself, so I know how hard that can be. I hope Jared and the Gospel Coalition will accept my sincere thanks for hearing us out and responding to our concerns. This is a big step forward in the listening process, which I hope will continue. May God be glorified in this gesture of humility, and may we respond to one another with extra measures of grace and patience in the days to come.
I understand why some of you may still be hurt, and I understand why you may feel the apology was insufficient. People hurt and heal in different ways, so I can’t tell you that you have to accept this apology.But I do, and I want Jared and The Gospel Coalition to know that.
My hope in all of this is that our persistent efforts in contesting this post - (from both men and women) -will embolden Christian women to speak up in their own homes, churches, and communities when language like this is used. When confronted with teachings that make us feel disrespected or unsafe, we must say something; we must stand up for ourselves, even if it's hard.
The best of our brothers will listen in love.
Update: Douglas Wilson has responded here. His post is so vile and offensive, (and includes homophobic and misogynistic slurs), I strongly urge you not to engage. I certainly will not.